TV Friday- Eccentric Education
by The Relentless Rebel Gang
Summary: This show is centred round one of Mr Toad's ancestors, Mr Hode. Read the detailed summary to find out about him, his neighbourhood, his friends and his surreal shenanigans that lead him into getting into crazy adventures, that land him into trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**

This show is about a Toad named Mr Hode who is one of Mr Toad's (from The Wind in The Willows) ancestors.

Like Mr Toad is named Mr Toad of Toad Hall, his name is Mr Hode of Hode Hall. This is because, stating the obvious, he lives in Hode Hall. However, there is sign that says 'Hode Pool'. The reason for this is because it used to be a swimming centre called Biode Pool, which was environmentally friendly. Instead of using chlorine and other harsh chemicals to clean the pool, the pool had water-purifying plants and microorganisms. The Biode Pool went bust so Mr Hode bought the Swimming Centre and has converted it into a hall. He is working on the sign, so for now it says 'Hode Pool'.

Mr Hode gained his fame and fortune by having a business like Hugh Heffner, Playboy. His magazine is called Hot Hodes and the photo shoots happen at his place. There are lots of beautiful women that hang round his place as he is a 'Ladies Man', especially Tia and Lea. They are Hode's girlfriends who are known as his 'Hode Babes'.

Also Hode is also wealthy as well, because he cheats the benefits system. Despite the fact the he is a multi-millionaire, he still moans about not getting enough benefits and claims that 'it's his entitlement'. Hode tries to claim more and more benefits, more or less he is a benefit fraud.

He is often reluctantly accompanied by Oscar the Badger. A lunatic who runs around with his hands in the air screaming "AAAAAHHHHH!" Even though Oscar is a badger, he has a human face with badger ears on top.

Oscar is usually joined his best friend Wiggly, who does exactly the same thing as Oscar, apart from, she screeches. Wiggly is a panda with short fuzzy hair.

Surrounded by a variety of people from the outright eccentric to the downright plain, there is never a dull moment in Mr Hode's life.

Oscar and Wiggly have the mentality of a toddler, therefore they attend nursery instead of school.

**On Tonight's Episode-Eccentric Education**

Hode has a lot on his plate. He has to take a bunch of delinquent teenagers to school and Oscar, Wiggly and a toddler to nursery.

Proving to be too much, he leaves Oscar, Wiggly and the toddler with his neighbours, The Rathbones and asks them to take them to nursery. The problem is that…..well let's just they are not the most reliable people to put it in a polite way.

**Characters**

**Mr Hode-** Mentioned him in the summary.

**Tia and Leah- **Mentioned them in the summary.

**Oscar the Badger- **Mentioned him in the summary.

**Wiggly-** Mentioned her in the summary.

**The Two Finger Rabbit-** A delinquent teenage rabbit who sticks two fingers up at everything and everyone. That's where he gets his name from.

**Matilda- **She is Two Finger Rabbit's two year old sister. He is forced by his parents to take Matilda, wherever he goes. His parents can't be bothered to look after her. The parents don't even know where they are.

**Fartin Martin-** A freckly hedge-hog who is a tomboy and also a delinquent. She loves football. Her original name is Martine but because she is like a man, they call her Martin. She has the name Fartin is because she can be obnoxious, therefore people call her Fartin Martin, because Fartin rhymes with Martin.

**Smelly McGregor-** A juvenile delinquent who been in trouble many times with the law. She has even been warned that she will be sent to a young offenders' institution, if she continues. She is scrawny and freckly but when she gets angry, she reacts the same way as The Hulk but she doesn't turn green. Smelly is very aggressive, argumentative and violent. The school has suspended her and sent her on anger management classes.

**Da Baa Black Sheep Cru- **More teenage delinquents who are Black Sheep that hang round in a crew.

**The members of Da Baa Black Sheep Cru:**

**Nate- **The leader and the baddest of the gang. His name is short for Nathaniel. He is very broad and has a giant afro.

**Kano-** He is taller and thinner than Nate and is the brains behind the gang. He wears sunglasses and has dreadlocks.

**Kanye-** He is the same height and same build as Kano. He acts out on the plans e.g. he's the one that breaks into people's houses, writes illegal graffiti, shop lifts etc.

**Casey Pigeon-** A short, scruffy pigeon who so is vile and insolent to the extent you want to kill her. She wears glasses.

**The Rathbones-** A lesbian couple named Jo and Gerri. They are Hode's neighbours and are a nightmare to live with. Jo has a drug and drink problem and Gerri is the more 'level-headed' one who tries to lead Jo on the right path but she does it in a funny way. They are in a punk rock band called, The Rathbones.

**Boring Ben-** He lives across the road from Hode. Ben is a complete and utter frump who speaks 'The Queen's English'. His garden and house is prim and prop. His dress sense is frumpy and he likes everything old fashioned e.g. music, films, clothes etc and he hates everything contemporary. Ben hates children and he complains about today's generation and everything crude, especially Mr Hode and his antics at Hode Hall. There is no fun or laughter in him whatsoever.

**Mr Slaped- **He is the Head Teacher of The Gary Baldy School. He has a giant bald head with a wide grin and medium sized glasses. He makes sure that everyone is in the correct uniform e.g. shirt, tie, jumper, trouser, skirt (for the girls), smart and practical, dark shoes and….EVERYONE TO SHAVE THEIR HEAD BALD. If they don't, there will be severe consequences.

**Mr Jeeties- **Gary Baldy's only and rubbish Music Teacher. He is very mardy and stroppy. When the going gets tough, he storms out of the class. He has no control whatsoever. All he does is make everyone practice 'The Slap Head Song' in which they perform in 'The Big Assembly'.

**Minor Characters**

The Photographer- He works for Mr Hode, doing photo shoots for Hot Hodes.

The Chauffeur- He works for Mr Hode.

The Butler- He works for The Rathbones.

The Solicitor

The Police

The School Receptionist- She works for The Gary Baldy School.

The Gary Baldy School Pupils


	2. Chapter 2

**TV Friday- Eccentric Education**

**Part 1**

**Scene 1**

(The curtains open and Mr Hode stands in his superior position on stage.)

**Mr Hode: **Hello, my name is Mr Hode of Hode Hall. My nickname is Mr Hode of Mode. Mode is French for fashion. As you see, I'm at the very height of fashion (He shows of his jacket and then he gives a twirls, so everyone can see his Gucci Suit). My middle name is…OH FUCKING CHRIST! I DON'T HAVE ONE! (Calms down) Now let's think of one….

(Whilst Mr Hode is trying to think of a middle name, Oscar runs onto the stage screaming and waving his hands in the air like a lunatic.)

**Oscar: **AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Mr Hode: **(Snaps angrily) Oh fuck off Oscar, you bastard!

**(Oscar ignores Mr Hode and starts to trash the stage.)**

**Mr Hode: **Oh, that's Oscar. He always runs around screaming "AAAAHHHH!" with his hands up in the air. Do you know why he does that? It's because he always does. (Signs) Don't bloody fucking ask me why but give him three hours, he'll calm down.

**Scene 2**

(Mr Hode is standing outside Hode Hall.)

**Mr Hode: **This is where I work and party.

(Mr Hode enters Hode Hall. He walks along the corridor and opens a door. It's the photo booth. At the photo booth, two gorgeous female toads are having a photo shoot. They are kissing each other and performing other sexual acts with each other.)

**Mr Hode: **Welcome to the Photo Booth! This is where all the photos shoots take place for my magazine, Hot Hodes! This magazine is like Playboy but a billion times more filthier. (He calls over to the female toads.) YES…..YES….. (Getting sexually excited). This is going on the front cover of Hot Hodes tomorrow! Work is dismissed! We work hard, so we party hard!

(The female toads walk up to Mr Hode. One of them link him on his left arm and the other one links him on the fight.)

**One of the female toads:** (Says seductively) Does this include a threesome?

**Mr Hode: **It sure does. We're gonna shag loads, baby.

(Mr Hode then faces the camera.)

**Mr Hode:** Oh, these are my two girlfriends, they are known as The Hode Babes. This babe on the left is Tia.

**Tia:** Hi!

**Mr Hode:** This Babe on the right is Lea.

**Lea: **Hello.

**Scene 3**

(Mr Hode and The Hode Babes are now in the swap, their swimming pool. They all having a good time. Hode that notices that some unwanted guests have snuck into his pool. The guests are Da Baa Black Sheep Crew, The Two Finger Rabbit with his sister Matilda, Fartin Martin, Casey Pigeon and Smelly McGregor.)

**Mr Hode: **(Shocked and caught off guard) What the fuck are you guys doing in my pool?

**Kayne (Da Baa Black Sheep Cru): **Yo, we wanna use ya pool.

**Mr Hode: **(Snaps) Well you can't use my pool!

**Da Baa Black Sheep Cru: **(Groaning) AHH! DON'T LIE!

**Mr Hode: **(Sarcastically)I'm not lying, SO PISS OFF!

**Da Baa Black Sheep Cru: **(Sniggering)AH, Allow it!

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **Clearly there's a sign that says Hode Pool, you Bean head!

**Mr Hode: **It used to be a swimming centre called Biode Pool that went bust. I bought it and I've just stated to decorate the sign, BEAN HEAD! Anyway, shouldn't you Bastards be at school?

**Casey Pigeon: **Been suspended, you Twat! (She flies up to Hode Hall and poos on the roof.) (Taunting) You're in deep shit! (She flies off.)

(Everyone laughs)

**Mr Hode: **(Says to himself angrily) I'll deal with that little cunt later. (He then focuses his attention back onto the teenagers.) What about you lot?

**Fartin Martin: **I can't walk, I sprained my ankle!

**Mr Hode: **(Not believing her) Well how did you walk here then?

**Fartin Martin: **My friends helped me.

**Mr Hode: **(Sarcastically) Well, your friends can help you to walk to school then?

**Fartin Martin: **(Snaps) I've got a doctor's note, shut up!

**Mr Hode: **(Turns his head to Da Baa Black Sheep Cru) So what's your story then, Da Baa Black Sheep Cru?

**Kano: **We're 16, we've left school and we ain't got nuttin' to do, ya get me?

**Mr Hode: **I'll try and organise a job for you lot at the weekend.

**Nate: **How much is it to fuck one of your Hoes?

**Mr Hode: **(Warning) You leave them alone! Now if you all want to earn some hard earned cash, I suggest you three leave right now!

(Daa Baa Black Sheep Cru clear off.)

**Mr Hode: **(He faces Smelly McGregor.) So what's your story, McGregor?

**Smelly McGregor: **The teachers never help me!

**Mr Hode: **(He diverts his attention to The Two Finger Rabbit.) And you Two Finger…. (He notices that he is with Matilda.) and what are you doing with your little sister, you're far too young to look after her.

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **My mum left me with her.

(Mr Hode hears some banging coming from his House.)

**Mr Hode: **(Speaks to Hode Babes) Sorry Babes, gotta leave. (He kisses them on the cheek and gets out of the swamp.) (He glares at the teenagers.) You guys, come with me! I bet you have something to do with this racket!

(The teenagers obey his orders. Mr Hode goes inside his Hall and the teenagers follow him.)

**Scene 4**

(He sees Oscar and Wiggly running up and down the corridor and smashing up the place. Mr Hode is even more shocked.)

**Mr Hode: **Where did you find Oscar and Wiggly? They're lunatics!

**Smelly McGregor: **We just thought that they're a laugh, they're well safe!

**Mr Hode: **(Irritable) Where did you find them?

**Fartin Martin: **On the streets!

**Mr Hode: **(Mutters to himself) They've must have escaped from nursery! Kids follow me! (Everyone follows him into the front garden. He sees his neighbours, The Rathbones and calls over to them.) Hey! Can you guys do me a favour please?

**Gerri Rathbone: **What the fuck is it, dear?

**Mr Hode: **Some kids, a toddlers and some crazy animals are on the rampage! I'm going to take the kids to school, so it is O.K if you could please take the toddler and these goons to nursery?

**Jo Rathbone: **(Drunk) Fucking Hell, what the fuck has the world come to? A bunch of fucking bastards, a fucking brat and two….

**Gerri Rathbone: **(Interrupts) We would love to help you, (Glares at Jo) I'm sure that Jo will be more than happy to sing some of our hits to this sweet little…. (Looks at Matilda)

**Mr Hode: **Her name's Matilda! (Mr Hode calls to his security guards.) Guards! Can you please make sure that these teens don't escape whilst I drop Matilda, Oscar and Wiggly?

(The Guard obeys him, whilst Mr Hode drops them off.)

**Scene 5**

(Mr Hode and the teenagers are inside his limo.)

**Fartin Martin: **(Smug and trying to be smart) How can you take us to school if you don't know what school we go to?

**Mr Hode: **Well what school do you go to then?

**Smelly McGregor: **As if the fuck we're gonna tell you?

**Mr Hode: **Chauffeur! Take us to the nearest school!

(The Chauffeur obeys him.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 2**

**Scene 6**

(In The Rathbone's house, Jo has just been singing to Matilda and Matilda is crying.)

**Jo Rathbone: **Oh for fuck's sake! I can't shut this thing up! (Calls to Gerri) Shut it up for me Gerri!

**Gerri Rathbone: **(Chasing after Oscar and Wiggly) I'm trying to deal with these two loonies! Try helping me to put them into the car, you stupid bitch!

**Jo Rathbone: **To Hell with this! (She enters the kitchen and opens the fridge. Joe helps herself to a bottle of bourbon.)

**Scene 7**

(In the limo. The limo stops outside The Gary Baldy School.)

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **Oh no! Not The Gary Baldy School! They make you shave your hair off and sing The Slap Head Song! O.K, we'll you which school we go to…..

**Mr Hode: **You should have told me sooner, now get out!

(Everyone gets and reluctantly follow Mr Hode into The Gary Baldy School.)

**Scene 8**

(Mr Hode and the teenagers at the reception.)

**School Receptionist: **How may I help you today?

**Mr Hode: **Hi. I would like to enrol these kids at this school please.

**School Receptionist: **You would need to speak to Mr Slaped, The Head Teacher. I'll call him to come and speak to you now. (She calls him and asks him to meet Mr Hode and the teenagers at Reception. Mr Slaped enters the reception.)

**Mr Slaped: **Hello sir, what can I do for you today?

**Mr Hode: **These kids are truanting school! I'm here to enrol them to this school.

**Mr Slaped: **Alright, you leave them here with me! I'll have their fur and hair shaven off. It's part of the uniform!

**Mr Hode: **Thanks.

(Mr Hode walks off and leave the teenagers with Mr Slaped. The teenagers are giving toad worried looks, like their asking him to take them away from this school. He is ignoring them.)

**Scene 9**

(At The Rathbone's. Gerri has just given up on getting Oscar and Wiggly to go into the car and goes into the living room. She finds Jo passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of bourbon next to her. Gerri is livid and goes into the kitchen and gets a half full bottle of bourbon. She pees in it and swaps the bottle. Jo comes round and drinks the bourbon.)

**Jo Rathbone: **Is it me or is there summit with that bourbon?

**Gerri Rathbone: **(Pretending to look innocent) Like what?

**Jo Rathbone: **Like…. (She then realises what Gerri has done to it.) YOU'VE PISSED IN IT YOU STUPID BITCH! WHAT FOR?! (She slings the bourbon bottle at Gerri but misses.)

**Gerri Rathbone: **CAUSE YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD THAT CARES ABOUT NOBODY BUT YOU'RE SELF! (She picks up another bottle and slings one at Jo. They then start to sling items at each other.)

**Scene 10**

(At The Gary Baldy School the teens have had their hair/fur shaved off. They are now waiting in music class with their other classmates for Mr Jeeties, The Music Teacher. Everyone is talking at a normal volume.)

**Fartin Martin: **(Complaining) Ah, it's so unfair that we've got to shave our hair and fur off!

**Smelly McGregor: **It's like the army camp!

(Mr Jeeties storms in. He walks up to Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor.)

**Mr Jeeties: **(Screams) RIGHT YOU TWO! LINE UP OUTSIDE NOW!

**Smelly McGregor: **(Defensive)We've done nuttin wrong!

**Mr Jeeties: **(Screams) YES YOU WERE! YOU WERE MAKING A RACKET!

**Fartin Martin: **(Snaps) So was everyone else, get stuffed!

**Mr Jeeties: **(Leans closer to them) DON'T LET ME TELL YOU AGAIN, NOW MARCH!

(Smelly McGregor and Fartin Martin walk out, giving Mr Jeeties filthy looks.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 3**

**Scene 11**

(At Boring Ben's house. Boring Ben is sitting in his living room trying to listen to Classical music but is interrupted by the sounds of smashing objects.)

**Boring Ben: **(Irritated) I wonder what this awful racket is. (He walks up to the window and sees that some commotion is coming from The Rathbone's house.) I should have known that it would have something to do with those two queers!

(He leaves his house.)

**Scene 12**

(Ben is outside The Rathbone's house. He rings the doorbell. The Butler answers it.)

**The Butler: **Good Afternoon, Sir. What can I do for you today?

**Boring Ben: **Hello. I was just wondering if Jo and Gerri could please keep the… (He peeps over The Butler and sees Jo and Gerri throwing objects at each other. Oscar and Wiggly are joining, thinking it's a game and Matilda on the dining table, peeing in a teapot. He is now horrified.) What is this abomination?! How can the law allow two unfit people, especially queers to look after two crazy people and a toddler it's not fair on them. That child is completely traumatised by this and these crazy people are getting worse, not better!

**Gerri Rathbone: **Oh shut up, you boring twat! (She slings a bourbon bottle at him.)

(Ben ducks down and the bottle misses him. He runs back into his house.)

**Scene 13**

(At Boring Ben's house. Ben is making a phone call.)

**Boring Ben: **Hello. I would like to report that some children are being neglected by two irresponsible people….. (Listens whilst operator speaks)…..They are The Rathbones and they live at 26 Pennyfoot Street, London.

**Scene 14**

(At The Gary Baldy School. Twenty minutes later, Mr Jeeties allows Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor to return to the classroom.)

**Mr Jeeties: **(In a very calm and pleased mood.) Oh, I'm sorry for the way I treated you two. I've just had a lot on at the moment.)

(Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor walk in.)

**Mr Jeeties: **Right, now let's go back to the chorus of The Slap Head Song.

**Class: **(Singing) Mr Slap Head, Mr Slap Head…..

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **(Singing the Smack My Bitch Up lyrics by The Prodigy at the top of his voice) Slap My Bitch Up, Slap My Bitch Up…

**Mr Jeeties: **RIGHT! (He points to The Two Finger Rabbit.) YOU GET TO MR SLAPED'S OFFICE NOW!

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **(Teasing) What? Did you say that you have some sweeties for us, Jeeties? (He sticks two fingers up at him.)

(The whole class roar with laughter and Mr Jeeties storms out.)

**The Two Finger Rabbit, Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor: **(Yelling at the top of their voices) MARDY PONCE!

(The whole class start to join in.)

**The Whole Class: **(Yelling at the top of their voices) MARDY PONCE!

(Everyone continues to yell "Mardy Ponce!" until Mr Jeeties storms back in.)

**Mr Jeeties: **SEEING AS THOUGH YOU LOT CAN'T CONTROL YOUR BEHAVIOUR, LET'S SEE IF MR SLAPED CAN?! (He gets out his mobile and phones Mr Slaped.)

**Scene 15**

(The Police are outside The Rathbone's house and they knock on the door. The Butler answers it.)

**The Butler: **Hello, what can I do for you today?

**The Police: **Are Mr and Mrs Rathbone here?

(Jo and Gerri see The Police and they barge past The Butler to have a go at them.)

**Jo Rathbone: **What the fuck do you want?

**The Police: **Mr and Mrs Rathbone. I am arresting you for reckless behaviour whilst in the care of a toddler and two crazy people….

**Gerri Rathbone: **Hode gave them to us, he's responsible! He lives next door to us (She points to where he lives.)

(The Police then go to Mr Hode's house.)

**Scene 16**

(Mr Hode is back in his swamp with his Hode Babes, Tia and Lea. He hears a knock at the door.)

**Mr Hode: **Sorry Babes, I have to go and answer this.

**Hode Babes: **Bye Sweetheart!

(Mr Hode walks into his house to go and answer the door.)


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 4**

**Scene 17**

(Mr Hode is at his front door and he answers it. It's the police.)

**Mr Hode: **Hello.

**The Police: **Mr Hode. I am arresting you for reckless behaviour whilst in the care of a toddler and two crazy people. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence. Do you understand? (They put hand on him and take him to the car.)

**Mr Hode: **(Worried and angry) But I didn't. I told The Rathbones to take them to nursery, whilst I take the teenagers to school!

**Scene 18**

(Back at school. Mr Slaped has now arrived at Music Class.)

**Mr Slaped: **What is the problem?

**Mr Jeeties: **The whole class have been playing up. They have been influenced by these three colourful characters (He points to The Two Finger Rabbit, Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor.)

**Mr Slaped: **RIGHT! YOU THREE GET TO MY OFFICE NOW!

(They go)

**Mr Slaped: **AS FOR THE REST OF YOU, NEXT WEEK YOU ARE ALL GOING TO SPEND EVERY BREAKTIME IN MY OFFICE WRITING LINES!

**Scene 19**

(At The Police Station. Mr Hode is being interviewed.)

**DS Smith: **(Switches on tape recorder) Present is DS Smith, DC Barnes, Mr Hode and Mr Jones, The Duty Solicitor. So, Mr Hode. What were you doing when you when you were supposed to be looking after Oscar, Wiggly and Matilda.

**Mr Hode: **I had to take a group of teenagers to school. I asked The Rathbones to take Oscar, Wiggly and Matilda to nursery.

**DS Smith: **Why couldn't you have taken them yourself? It would have been far easier as you could have dropped the kids off first and then dropped them off afterwards.

**Mr Hode: **I didn't know which school the kids went to. I was trying to find out so that I could take them to the correct school. Oscar, Wiggly and Matilda would have made the task impossible to do, as they are a handful. It's already bad enough dealing with a bunch if delinquent teenagers.

**DS Smith: **What school do they go to?

**Mr Hode: **They didn't tell me so I sent them to The Gary Baldy School. Mr Slaped enrolled them.

**DS Smith: **That seems a little bit odd that you just sent them to a random school. There weren't any teenagers, were they?

**Mr Hode: **(angry and defensive) Yes they were, I'll even give you their names…

**DS: **If this was the case, why didn't you report this to The Police and let them take care of the situation?

**Mr Hode: **(Disbelieved) I was just trying to help them out. I know them personally.

**DS Smith: **There weren't any teenagers, were there?

**Mr Hode: **(Outraged) Yes they were! How dare you accuse me of being a liar!

**DS Smith: **Come on, admit it. The truth is that you were supposed to be looking after Oscar, Wiggly and Matilda. You didn't look after them properly, so they escaped to The Rathbones' house and you shifting the responsibility onto them.

**Mr Hode: **(Stands up) HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING SOME IRRESPONSIBLE MORON…

**Mr Jones: **(Interrupts) Can my client please take a break?

**DS Smith: **(Sighs) I suppose. Interview terminated at 2pm.

(Mr Hode is escorted to a cell.)

**Mr Hode: **THIS AIN'T FAIR, YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!

(Mr Hode is them placed into the cell and locked in.)

**Scene 20**

(The Two Finger Rabbit, Fartin Martin and Smelly McGregor with Mr Slaped, in his office.)

**Mr Slaped: **(Annoyed) I've taken you three in, is that how you repay me?

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **Fuck you! (He sticks two fingers in his face.)

**Mr Slaped: **HOW DARE YOU STICK TWO FINGERS IN MY FACE?! DON'T YOU DARE SWEAR IN MY SCHOOL!

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **Well I just did and sticking two fingers up is my speciality. That's how I got my name, Retard!

**Mr Slaped: **(Warns) You better stop your insolence!

**Fartin Martin: **Or what?

**Mr Slaped: **(Sighing) Why come here if you don't want to learn?

**Smelly McGregor: **We have to. It's the law until we're sixteen.

(Smelly McGregor grabs Mr Slaped's right arm, whilst Fartin Martin grabs his left. The Two Finger Rabbit pats his head like a bongo drum until head turns red with rage.)

**Mr Slaped: **GET OUT! YOU THREE ARE ALL DISGRACES! JUST DON'T COME BACK HERE AGAIN!

(The teenagers run out his office, celebrating and cheering.)

**Scene 21**

(Two hours later. Mr Hode is sitting in his cell until the door opens.)

**Prison Guard: **You're free to go.

**Mr Hode: **(Pleased) Finally you believe me. (He walks to the reception area and finds Smelly McGregor, Fartin Martin and The Two Finger Rabbit with his sister Matilda.) (Surprised) What are you guys doing here?

**Fartin Martin: **We told The Police what really happened.

**Mr Hode: **(Really pleased) Thank you but how do you know the full facts?

(A flash back of what happened is then played whilst The Two Fingers Rabbit explains.)

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **Well Slaped kicked us out of his shitty school, so we went back to collect Matilda, Oscar and Wiggly. On our way, we saw some bourbon bottles being slung into the air outside The Rathbones. Fortunately, you'll be glad to hear that one hit Casey Pigeon to the ground as she was flying. We went to peep into the window to see what was going on. We were surprised to see that Oscar and Wiggly were still there having a bourbon bottle fight with Jo and Gerri. My sister was terrified. We went to your place, Tia and Lea explained everything. I called The Police and they arrested The Rathbones. They returned Matilda back to me and sent Oscar and Wiggly home.

**Mr Hode:** At least we learnt a lesson from Casey and The Rathbones.

**Fartin Martin, The Two Finger Rabbit, Smelly McGregor: **What?

**Mr Hode: **What goes around, comes around.

(Everyone laughs)

**Mr Hode: **Thank you. For your reward, you can all use my swimming pool.

**Fartin Martin, The Two Finger Rabbit, Smelly McGregor: **Safe!

**Mr Hode: **But you guys must promise me one thing. You must all attend school and never lip your teachers. Your education is very important for your future.

**Fartin Martin, The Two Finger Rabbit, Smelly McGregor: **(Hold their heads in shame) We will.

**Scene 22**

(The teenagers have been swimming in Mr Hode's pool for some time and they are having a great time.)

**Mr Hode: **Right kids, time for bed!

**Smelly McGregor: **Can't we stay a bit longer?

**Mr Hode: **You need to go home. Your parents will be wondering where you are and you will need to be bright and early for school tomorrow.

**The Two Finger Rabbit: **My parents don't give a crap where me and Matilda are and I don't know how school give an education for my future.

(The Hode Babes go up to The Two Finger Rabbit and start to pet him.)

**Hode Babes: **(Flirty) Well, if you work hard, you'll own a place like this and babes like us. (They giggle)

(The Two Finger Rabbit blushes.)

**Fartin Martin: **Bye! Thank you for letting us use your pool.

**Mr Hode: **Anytime! See you! (He waves and smiles.)

(The teenagers wave back and head home.)

**Scene 23**

(Mr Hode is in his bedroom. Ready to go to sleep.)

**Mr Hode: **What a day I've had, you never know who you can trust these days!

(The Hode Babes come up from the covers. They lean closer to him.)

**Tia: **You can…..

**Lea: **always trust us!

(They both giggle.)

**Mr Hode: **I'd don't know what I'd do without you two!

(They then go under the covers and start to make love. The lights go out.)


End file.
